Current location:	Manila
Current mood:	hwooooh!
Current music:	All This Time--Six Part Invention
Entry tags:	bored at the moment

Unbearable Disbelief.
So, to start this off, I would like to say this: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

(tinatamad na ako mag-HTML.promise.)

Matters...

I've been known to write a lot, most especially back in 7th grade. I used to write fanfics for my friends (basically those fics I wrote summed up my trauma and angst with the world), and I was so happy that it made them laugh and rant at the same time.

Much to my growing disbelief that my thing for writing is slowly waning, I had sought help from friends to keep it up and running. One night I stumbled upon a thought: I only write when I am angry, sad, depressed, dejected, broken, desperate, and sinister.

Well, Drew told me that angst makes one write. That's why.

And, one more thing: I suddenly began to write less when I left home to live alone!

I miss those times when I was so excited to bring my notebooks to school. Those notebooks contained the so-called fic. My friends would huddle around to read it aloud, and I would hear Dianne giggling, Fini guffawing like crazy, Drew laughing, and Loriel smiling like some idiot. *kidding* It's just pure contentment that I feel evertime my friends have these reactions to my works.


*** *** ***


I am very confused.


This afternoon, after I got out of the boring seminar, Mhanie came up to me. I was with Keeko, R-Jay Macam, Arha, and Tich near the school entrance.

Mhanie: Niz, uy, balik ka ulit ng Batingaw!
Me: Huh? Mhanie, pag-iisipan ko pa kasi...
Mhanie: Niz, alam mo ba na isang classroom lang ka-dami ang Batch 30 ngayon? Sige na naman o, Niz!
Me: Eh, pwedeng next week na lang? May gagawin ako bukas at sa Saturday eh...
Mhanie: Alam mo, kahit magpakita ka muna kay Kuya Nappy or kay Kuya Bench...sabihin mo lang na babalik ka. Oks na yun!
*then she pulled me by my arm*
Me: Mhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaniiiieeeee! *looked back at Keeko, pouting*

*fast forward to the rehearsal room*

*Mhanie was greeting her her fellow batch 30 people*
*I was also greeting some people whom I've worked with at the G.A.*

Mhanie: Uy, si Ate Wy-Ann!
*Ate Wy-Ann is the all-black-clad girl who writes most of TB's plays*
*I covered my face, too shy*
Mhanie: Ate Wy, eto si Nizzie, babalik na sya ng Batingaw!
Me: Hullo po, Miss Wy-Ann! *Ate Wy-Ann gave me a high-five*
Ate Wy-Ann (to Mhanie): Ah, s'ya pala ang sinasabi mo! Naalala ko na s'ya!

*Mhanie and I nod*

Ate Wy-Ann: Sige balik ka na sa Batch 30! *then walked off*

Mhanie: See, sabi ko sa'yo magpakita ka lang eh! Ireto mo sina Fish, Aien at Raiz!
Me: Ay oo, tsaka pinsan ni Kiko!
Mhanie: Oo nga, pinsan mo pala! Sabihan mo, ikaw ang pinsan eh!
*Kiko smiles sheepishly, Mhanie pats him on the shoulder*
Me: Oo nga, oks na. Sige alis na ako. Salamat ha, Mhanie.
Mhanie: Oo, sige bye! *peck on the cheek*

I am very confused if I still want to go back to Tanghalang Batingaw. :( There are still activities that are being lined up for the coming weeks (like the ocular visit to Bilibid Prison in Muntinlupa on Thursday next week, Field Trip to Avilon Zoo and La Mesa EcoPark on the 21st, then JPL Outreach slated on the last week of January or first week of February, and the upcoming Midterms). Hwoooh! I also want to go back to TB cos theater is my life, and is a true art. I want to help Mhanie and Jai with it...but I don't want the experience to happen again, that my relationship with Keeko almost became strained cos we don't get to meet. T.T That first happened when I went to train at a call center. Awww man...help.